I think this year has been a huge wake up call to me. In January, when I stepped on the scale and saw that I was at a weight I was definitely NOT comfortable with, I decided that I needed to lose weight, desperately so. I decided to go back to my trusty old stand by -- Weight Watchers. It did work. At first. Unfortunately, like so many other things I started to do, I fell by the way-side. I could come up with legitimate excuses if I tried (cost of food, ability to cook said healthy food using only a microwave and a mini-fridge) but it all boils down to one thing: LACK of self-control.
However, when summer dawned and I found myself unemployed, and therefore unable to purchase the junk food/fast food that made up a pathetically large portion of my diet, I began to feel much better. I didn't start off dieting so much as I started changing how I ate, lowering first my sodium and then my sugar intake.
Two months of laying around the house doing nothing but playing video games and (largely) feeling sorry for myself brought me to the realization that I had within my grasp the ability to change my life and to ultimately LOSE WEIGHT.
I started off by trying to be more active. I know, I know, this seems like it would be the most simple concept in the world, but for those who live a largely sedentary lifestyle, the thought of becoming active once again can be rather daunting. My activity came in the form of walks with my brother in the evenings when it was (relatively, at least) cooler.
I will admit that the first time we went for a walk and managed to walk nearly 3 miles, I thought I might die, or at the very least that by legs might fall off. I discovered one thing, however, that I felt much better afterward,
Once I got a job, I decided to go back to Weight Watchers once more. This time it seems to be working for me. I've lost 17 lbs since the beginning of July, and I feel much better about myself. Most of the time. Sometimes, however, I feel as if I have no self control (i.e. tonight when I had cake and ice-cream at a b-day party).
I don't think the problem is with my weight, though. I think the problem's with my head. While my weight is truly a problem, it is not, or it shouldn't be the sum of who I am.
Regardless of what the scale may say, I still have worth. I am an intelligent soon-to-be college graduate with an undergraduate degree in Philosophy. I have a family that I absolutely adore, most of the time. I don't have as many friends as I'd like, but I am incredibly close to my family.
I am beautiful -- inside and out.
I only wish I remembered that all of the time!!
